The easiest place to live

Ruby Diamond

Tallahassee, how I’ve missed you. This has been the greatest trip. I’ll always hold this place so dearly. I know to most people in the world a mid-sized town in the panhandle of Florida sounds awful, but so often I find myself not wanting to be anywhere else.

Tallahassee is comfortable. More than anywhere else it feels like home. It changes and yet it feels the same. I’ve missed the beautiful green mossy trees, the people lightly peppered with southern drawls and the smell of our favorite pizza place. I miss the ease of being about to commute traffic free. I miss and will likely always miss this place. Tallahassee means so much to me. More than words could convey.

It’s times like these that I must remind myself, I’m not called to do easy things. I’m not called to be comfortable. I can see without a doubt why we need to be in California and how immensely blessed we’ve been in our move there. It has not be perfect, but Tallahassee was never perfect either and I can see that too. Both of them have been better than we could ever deserve and even though this garnet and gold dripped town will always be a treasured possession, I know that whether it’s California or other worlds unknown that something amazing is waiting ahead.

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The Year I Became a Californian (Year Two in Review)

Wellllll. It appears I haven’t used this blog in forever. Maybe I should fix that. Regardless, I would be remiss if I missed my review on the second year of our West Coast adventure.

Last year in my review, I wrote of patience, thankfulness and security. As I re-read that post, I remember how hard the first year in a new place is. Not knowing anyone is exhausting and terrifying even for the most extroverted of people (of which I am not). It takes so much time to build the kind of relationships I want to have with people. I feel like I’m honestly just on the edge of getting there.

When I wrote last year, we had yet to go back to Orlando. Now, we’ve been twice and have tickets booked for our upcoming holiday trip. I’m immensely thankful that we’re able to resume the fun and hilarious times of hanging out with our families.

When I wrote this post last year, I hadn’t gotten my new job. I was enduring and it was a struggle. I’m glad I went through it and I’m glad it’s over now. Now, I’ve been at my new job for six months. It’s not perfect. (What job could be?) But, it’s good and I’ve met some great people. Always a win in my book.

When I wrote last year, I didn’t really like California. I still wanted to be in Tallahassee desperately. And even though I’m so excited to be there (See you in September!) California has finally grown on me. It snuck up on me. I think I only realized it recently, but I finally feel like we have a home again. What that means who knows, but I think it’s mostly a feeling.

Onward to more adventures on the best coast. (Sorry, east coasters! Come visit us!)

My Take on the Rose Bowl

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You would imagine that spending not an inconsequential amount of money to painfully watch your favorite team hand a game over to another, get out-coached, and whatever else ESPN is saying about this year’s Rose Bowl would have been a miserable time, but Taylor and I had a truly wonderful time despite the horribly embarrassing defeat.

As a pair of rogue Seminoles on the West Coast, it was so nice to see at least 30,000 fellow Seminoles in garnet and gold,  to do the chop, sing the fight song and yell at people to actually hold the ball. I didn’t fully realize how much I missed that. It felt like a piece of home came to visit us in California. It made me miss Tallahassee so much more.

I’ve never laughed so much and been so puzzled at the reactions of drunk adults in my whole life. As I sat around some of the most obnoxious people I’ve ever witnessed and heard some of the foulest things I’ve ever heard, things that should never be said about anyone, I was mostly impressed by the Seminoles around me. Barring a pack of ridiculously drunk frat guys who I believe had bet insane amounts of money, the Seminoles around me were nice and pleasant and didn’t instigate anything even when beers were dumped on them by intoxicated Ducks or when accusations were flying for hours about their personal character.

It was fun and painful and sad and I miss Tallahassee all the more for being there.

P.S. To the ridiculous Oregon fan behind me: The game was not reffed by the ACC, I do not have a rap sheet (really?!), and I am still always proud to be a Seminole and your personal, loud opinions of our players could never change that. Unconquered.

Where have I been?

I know, I know. My blogging is suffering majorly this year. I’ve been busier. My mind has been cloudier and I haven’t known what to say.

What I do know about this season is that God has been exceedingly abundant in grace in my life. I am so grateful for this season – even amidst the trials and even amidst the frustration and heartache God has faithfully provided for me more than I could ever dream. While he hasn’t made the season ahead much clearer, he has provided a hope that can not be vanquished and a confidence that can not be shaken.

I can rejoice with those who are pregnant in the season and yet long for the day I’ll be a mom with confidence in God’s timing.

I can endure in the midst of great frustrations trusting in God’s provision in my life in the last year and in the years to come.

I can long for the day when so many of my friends will be gathered together and I can rejoice in the fact that technology today allows me to keep up with so many of them while making new wonderful friends on the West Coast too.

I am so grateful for what God is teaching me in this season and for the ways I’m being challenged to grow and change and serve and lead. I continue to pray for change in my life and the life of others too.

Just a few thoughts from a jumbled mind. Back to regular blogging soon!

In sickness and in health

I have been down for the count all week. I have had the summer cold that will not die all week. It’s been miserable. I’ve had to let my body rest when all I want to do is go and do. It’s been hard. Summer colds are the worst and this one has been pretty rough.

But, this is not a blog post is about me. This is a blog post about my amazing husband. He’s simply the best. He has taken care of my stiffly, wheezy, frustrated self all week. He’s made me tea and brought me medicine and asked me so many  times how he could help me. He didn’t even think about all of the things I couldn’t do for him – the meals I couldn’t make and the apartment I couldn’t clean. He took care of so much this week so I could rest and recuperate.

I am so blessed to have the such an amazing husband. Everyone should have someone like him in their life to take care of them on rough days.

Fighting for Joy

I’ve let situations take ahold of my brain. I’ve let the day to day fester in my brain like a cancer. It’s holding me down. Halting me from what I deeply desire.

Joy. Life to the fullest. Joy that can only come from Christ.

Have you ever done this? Felt the pit of hopeless, dread, anger, sadness and not been able to fight against it? To feel defeated? It’s the worst.

To know in your head that your desires, your hopes, your security, your life is found in Christ but to feel the weight of the mundane situations in your life drag down your passions. It’s simply terrible.

I’m putting an end to it – or rather I’m pleading that God would provide mercy that I don’t deserve – that He would intervene and that I could fight my daily struggles with my hope found securely in Christ. Knowing that these battles will be won by a God who cannot be defeated.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain.

 

A Hard Day’s Night

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this thankful for the weekend to arrive. It had been a long time since I’ve let the stress of my job make me physically sick. But it’s been that kind of week that just needed to end.

I’m feeling parched. I feel like I’ll cry big, ugly tears at any moment.  I can’t imagine there could be anymore welling  up in my eyes, but it feels like there could be buckets full  if I allowed it. I need this weekend. I need to de-clutter my mind from the week’s demands. It was just too much to handle and not let the weight of it bury me.

I need to spend time in prayer and in worship hoping and trusting that the week to come is not like the week I’ve had. I need to let hope and joy resurface.

I need to trust that even in the most broken of situations, I am not alone.   I need to trust. I need to trust. I need to trust.