I’ve had some really hard days lately. Anyone who has applied for jobs lately knows that it is a tedious and overwhelming process. It’s hard to choose joy when very little is pointing toward anything good. When you spend hours applying for jobs, interviewing and the works and you never see the fruit from any of it. It starts to feel hopeless.
It’s hard to trade your dreams for someone else and have to hope that you made the right choice. That the sacrifice of your plans will be worth it in the end. I think about all of the plans I had for this season or even just this next year – our trip to Europe for our fifth anniversary, starting a family, even little plans like restaurants we wanted to go to, friends we wanted to visit or annual plans like our trip home for Christmas – all of them vanished overnight and were replaced with struggle, unknown and unparalleled doubt. It’s hard to choose joy in the midst of change, pain and doubt.
And yet, choosing joy and fighting for it in the midst of pain and anxiety and all of the things that have accompanied this season is really all we have. Knowing that Christ suffered incomparably to my suffering and He did it for me. This is something to hope in and to find joy in even amidst suffering and hardship. There is a day coming when the suffering will end. That morn shall tearless be. I find joy in that day.