What are you really afraid of? Are you afraid of snakes or spiders or other creepy-crawly things? Are you afraid of public speaking or heights or airplanes?
I’ve been living in my fear a lot this week.
My fear is not so much fear as it is sin in my life that I neglect until it rears its ugly head. My fears all stem from a lack of perceived control. Fears about finances, jobs, stability, the future…. They all stem from me thinking I had control and that veil being slowly torn away.
God knows what I need even when I don’t see it. God knows I was never really in control in the first place.
I’m trying work hard toward repentance in this area. I don’t want to think I’m really in control. I want to know that God has a plan for me and is control of my whole life, even when it feels out of control. God is my provider not me. I can’t do it without him.
In this season, this is such a struggle for me. I want to plan everything, do everything and in turn stress out about every little detail that is unplanned. But I know, I won’t be able to plan everything this time. Things are going to be left undecided. God will supply what is needed. This is my hope.