This is the idol I fall prey to all too easily.
I am dreadfully fearful about not having enough money at the end of the day to pay the bills, about being out of work or really any number of scenarios where I feel my control over my finances slipping away. I can easily become frazzled to the core by this fear that wells up in me.
Oh, how ugly is my heart. How silly I am to think I have any control! How utterly foolish am I to fail to see that all I have been given is not mine at all!
Some song lyrics have really been drilling this into my heart lately:
“I’d rather lose all the things of Earth to gain the things of Heaven” (from The Rich Young Man by Keith and Kristyn Getty)
Do I believe those words? They are hard to say when you’re clinging to the false security that money brings.
“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise. Thou mine inheritance now and always” (Be Thou My Vision)
Can I really say these? Even in the moments when we’ve had less money and when God clearly provided in miraculous ways could I see the gift from God without worshiping at the altar of this idolatry?
Everything within me is fighting this. Fighting the fear that God will not provide. Fighting the need for false security that comes from this world. Knowing that it is true: “my soul finds rest in God alone.” Let it be so, Lord. Let it be so.